Chasing the Bus? Could It Be?

As parents we instinctively know when we are able to trust our kids to do certain things for themselves. For example, we know when our children are able to choose their own clothes and dress themselves. We know when they are able to feed themselves on their own too. Then, as they get older and more capable, we seem to know when they are able to wait for their school bus without us standing right next to them.

When Marisa was 14 years old, I finally had the sense that she could be trusted to wait for her bus in front of our house without me standing with her. However, because we have a long driveway, and I didn't want her standing near the road, I insisted she wait by the garage door.

Marisa needed to feel that she was grown up enough to wait alone, but every day, being extra cautious, I watched from the window inside the house. She knew I was watching from inside. I told her I wanted to be sure she was doing the right thing. This did not in any way make her feel less capable, because she knew that, later in the day, I would compliment her new ability. It was equally important for her to feel she was more autonomous as it was important for me to be sure she approached the bus safely.

But, then again, what if something out of the ordinary happened and a quick decision had to be made? We've all had that experience in one way or another. One has to wonder if a neuro-typical teen would make the right choice, let alone one with special needs. So one day something out of the ordinary did happen, and Marisa's ability to make the right decision was tested.

It was a cold winter day and Marisa was waiting for her bus in front of our garage door. The bus pulled up as usual, slowed down, and then suddenly continued past our house. All of a sudden Marisa started yelling and crying "Wait for me!" as she ran down the driveway and up the road at incredible speed. I jumped up and ran out the door in my robe, screaming after her, "Marisa come back!" Fortunately Marisa knew, from earlier lessons, that if I was calling, then she better respond. As she ran back to me with tears running down her face, I told her that chasing the bus was not the proper or safe way to handle this problem. I immediately called the bus company to tell them what had happened, and was informed that there was a substitute bus driver that morning. Apparently the driver didn't see Marisa and didn't think that he needed to wait.

For Marisa, the lesson was to never chase after a bus, no matter what, but to come in to the house to inform me instead. Then we could call the bus company and correct the problem. I dread to think what would have happened if I had not been watching from the window, but the good thing is that Marisa learned what the safe and correct procedure is for handling this kind of problem. Since that day there have been a few similar occurrences with the bus and I am happy to say that Marisa has handled them all appropriately. "A decision well made!" I'd say.