Learning to Accept Disappointment

How many times have we all been disappointed by changes in plans? Maybe you planned a barbecue and it rained, or you planned a party and your best friend was going to be out of town. Disappointments happen to us every day, and we have to learn to bounce back, accept it, and make the best of it.

Last year my husband and I planned a trip to Disney World in Florida. It wasn't exactly our number one choice for a family vacation, but it was Marisa's desire to go that prompted us to finally plan the trip. Our other children had been to Disney World before Marisa was born, so Marisa, feeling she had missed out, was eager to have the opportunity to go too. We were all set to go! Then a week before we were to leave, Marisa came down with a fever.

She was disappointed to have to stay home from school because of her fever, but was willing to stay in bed ALL DAY if it meant that she would recover for our trip. In all honesty, she was too weak and too uncomfortable to get out of bed. After a trip to the doctor we were told to wait a couple of days to see if she would improve on her own. When Marisa showed no improvement we returned to the doctor. He then placed her on an antibiotic and assured us that she would recover in time for the trip, so Marisa went home relieved and climbed in to bed to wait for the fever to go down. When there was still no improvement on antibiotics 3 days later, we returned to the doctor. "I want to go to Florida tomorrow!" Marisa said. "You won't be able to enjoy a trip if you're sick," I replied. After seeing the doctor and having an X-ray, we finally understood what was wrong. Marisa had pneumonia! Because the anti-biotic wasn't working, the doctor advised admitting her to the hospital immediately. It was a snowy day and we were sent home to pack for a trip to the hospital. Imagine Marisa's disappointment! Instead of packing for a warm, fun vacation, we packed for a hospital stay.

Marisa was too sick to think much about disappointment, but as she recovered we told her that she would get to go to Florida another time when she was feeling better. It would be something to look forward to again. We assured her that it was not something she would never get to do.

Then, this year we rescheduled our trip to Disney in Florida. Not only did Marisa enjoy the trip immensely, but I'm convinced that she enjoyed it a whole lot more! Her appreciation and anticipation was greater because of the disappointment she experienced when her first trip had to be canceled.

More recently, one of Marisa's friends had to have his birthday party postponed because of a blizzard. That was a big disappointment, but at least the party was to be scheduled for the next week. Then another snow storm arrived the day of the rescheduled party. How devastating this was to the birthday boy and all his friends! Fortunately the storm was not quite as bad as it could have been so the party did take place, but the anticipation of the party was so much greater for all who attended. Just seeing the bright smiling faces showed how much more meaningful this party had become.

Thinking about the concept of disappointments makes me wonder. What would it be like if we had no obstacles in our lives and everything always went exactly the way we wanted it to? How boring would that be? There is greater joy in life when it is mixed with disappointment. No one wants to be faced with obstacles, but it happens to all of us. So the next time your special needs child or young adult is disappointed about something they didn't get to do, don't forget to remind them that when the time does come to do that special thing that they want, it will be that much better and more rewarding. And lets not forget to tell the same thing to ourselves.