Learning to Budget Ones Earnings

This year Marisa will be graduating from school and moving on to life in the adult world. Now what is that supposed to mean? Well it could mean getting a job and learning how to spread one's earnings to cover essential expenses. Such expenses as food, rent, phone, utilities, clothing needs and recreation all must be taken into account.

Up till now Marisa has been living a fairly protected existence. She has learned to earn goal points that she can trade in for things she wants. However, entering the adult world means one has to be able to stretch what is earned in money to cover the cost of the things needed and hopefully still have something left over for special purchases. To help Marisa realize the importance of budgeting her money, we now sit down at the beginning of each month to go over the expenses she has each month. She then has an opportunity to consider how she would like to use her extra money. She may decide to use it or save up for several months toward something extra special.

Early each month we talk about the things that are necessary to pay for and then discuss the things she is interested in purchasing for that month. She may want a new dress for a special occasion or a new pair of pants for her job, but I always remind her to ask herself the following two questions:

1. How much money is left for the month after expenses?

2. If I spend on clothing, will I still have enough reserved for recreational activities I am interested in?

By asking these two questions Marisa is actually budgeting herself in a very simplified way. Rather than buying something on impulse, just because she has a coupon or saw something she liked in a magazine, she is being forced to look at the big picture. The big picture means she has to consider all the activities she has planned for that month. She must take into account whether or not she has enough spending money to cover all costs. If she needs money to pay for a planned activity, it may mean putting off the purchase of that special dress.

Since we have started the routine of checking the month's expenses from the very beginning of each month, I have noticed our trips to the mall have decreased considerably. Marisa still saves her coupons and plans what she would like to purchase but instead of rushing out to buy that special dress right away she stops to ask, "How much money do I have left for this month?" I'll suggest we take a look at her balance, and she may then very well say, "I can wait for another coupon. Let's skip the mall!"

I'm proud of the way Marisa has learned to realize her limits in spending. She loves fashion and will always enjoy shopping for that special outfit, but because she has not had the privilege of unlimited spending, she is beginning to learn the value of saving the money she has for each month. I anticipate that when Marisa does have her first real job, she will develop a true appreciation for her earnings. She will have no trouble budgeting, because she has already come a long way in learning to cover the cost of the things she needs, while still saving up for the things she wants. In essence, she has learned that the challenge of saving can be as rewarding if not more so than that so called special purchase.

Moving Ahead on the Road to Independence

Many years ago, I invested a good 2 years in teaching Marisa how to use her house key to get in to the house after school. This was a slow and steady learning experience that paid off many times over since she fully learned this skill. Every step to achieving this goal took many months of practice.

For example, trusting Marisa enough to walk to the door, rather than stroll off down the street, was the first step. Most parents of young children wait outside for their child's bus. Long past the age when parents are comfortable to have their neuro-typical kids walk from the bus on their own, I was still there to escort Marisa to the house. So letting Marisa walk from the bus to the house on her own was a major first step in this process.

At first, I informed Marisa that I would be watching her from a window inside the house and would come out to meet her and help her with the key. She knew I was expecting her to come to the door, rather than wandering off down the road. For this, she knew she was earning reward points and in so doing, she remained focused.

Then, learning to put the key in the door lock was a step in itself that required her to retrieve it from her safe storage hook in her backpack. Developing the confidence and ability to repeatedly use the key correctly took much longer than it would for most typical children.

Then, once inside the house she needed to learn to turn the alarm off, and then turn it back on and finally make sure the door was locked from the inside. She also needed to remember to return her key to the safe place inside her backpack so it would not get misplaced. Believe it or not, this whole procedure took me two years from beginning to end, when she and I were both fully confident in her ability.

There were times I was late getting home, and Marisa was finally able to use her new skill and prove herself worthy of my trust in her to do the right thing. What a relief it was for me, and what a sense of pride and accomplishment we both felt that she was able to do this on her own. This was not by any means a quick and easy task to accomplish.

Since this has been accomplished, and Marisa is capable of managing on her own for a couple of hours if need be, what next? Well, I realize that since my 91 year old dad has been ill and my mom is in need of help going to see him in the rehabilitation center where he is regaining his ability to move around again after two nasty falls, I know that it is time to help Marisa put some of her interest in cooking to it's practical use.

Thankfully, Marisa is interested in learning to prepare meals and cook for herself. Her interest is so strong, that she has come to plan all our daily meals by selecting nothing short of healthy recipes for dinner. She also has watched me prepare my usual salad each night which involves shredding carrots in the food processor, crushing garlic with a garlic press, slicing red pepper, scallion, cucumber, and avocado by hand, and then finally slicing tomatoes in the food processor after switching the blade from shredder to slicer. Do I think she would  be able to handle this task? You bet I do! Will she be willing to do it if I needed her to help out if I couldn't make it home early enough? There's only one way to find out. It's time to start the slow and steady process of engaging her in the step by step tasks of handling all those vegetables one by one.

So now, each day when I am preparing my dinner salad, Marisa will participate in helping. Of course it would be so much easier for me to just do it myself, but even if it takes longer, because she is listening and practicing the steps alongside me, think of the pride she will feel when she has finally mastered this skill. No matter how long it takes for her to learn, it is one more step on the road to independence.

One day, I may call her at home to say, "I'm going to be late." Then perhaps instead of her asking me,  "When will we have dinner?", she'll be able to say, "I'll get the salad ready, mom!" There will be a true sense of pride and accomplishment for her and and a sense of relief and pride, for me, to know that I have done my job in helping her be less dependent on me and more capable of taking the initiative to care for herself and make a contribution to helping her family through a difficult time.