Monday, December 10, 2012

Learning to Deal with Insensitive Neuro-typicals

I thought I had all things ironed out in regard to Marisa being able to handle most public situations, but I was wrong. She is able to shop for clothing and handle purchases with cash and her debit card. She is able to order food for herself meticulously well, down to the finest detail. She is able to food shop, even reading labels for nutritional information. But what happened to her while out for a simple frozen yogurt lunch purchase was beyond anything I could have possibly imagined. I was appalled by the treatment she received from an incompetent cashier. It just goes to show that even under the best of circumstances our kids with special needs may be grossly taken advantage of if faced with an insensitive or incompetent individual. This was one lesson learned that I am hoping Marisa will never have to encounter again, but if she does, she will be prepared.

Marisa had just finished concocting a yummy frozen yogurt lunch of 2 flavors, berries and nuts of her choosing and was paying with cash at the register. I stood by at a distance waiting and watching, when I saw the cashier clumsily drop the change into what she thought was Marisa's hand. Actually the change landed in the frozen yogurt cup Marisa had placed on the counter in order to collect her change.

Marisa started to pick the change out of the yogurt as the cashier watched but said nothing.  I stepped forward, placing a hand on Marisa's hand and told her to leave it.

"Marisa you can't eat this! It's full of germs from the change!"

Marisa started to get angry and immediately gave me a wide-eyed dirty look. I assured her she would get another yogurt, but she didn't quite understand. She wasn't really listening. She was confused thinking that she paid for the yogurt, and I wasn't going to let her eat it. Again I tried to assure her that she would get a new one, but my assurances didn't seem to quiet her or stop the flow of tears.

I then directed my attention to the cashier who had seen the whole thing.

"Would you eat that after change fell in it?" I asked.

She did not answer my question. Instead she replied, "It was her fault!"

I could not believe what I was hearing as my anger was mounting.

"You missed her hand. You weren't even looking!" I said. "She can't eat that now. She should get a fresh one."

"It was her fault!" she said again.

"Where's the manager?" I asked

While all this was going on, Marisa was crying and not really understanding why she couldn't have the yogurt, even with the change dropped in it. I felt like I was juggling a three way argument between the cashier, myself and Marisa.

Finally a manager came out to the register. Once the problem was explained, she immediately told Marisa to go make up another cup of yogurt for herself.

I realized that Marisa could not grasp why there was a problem because she was too upset to listen to me. All she could think about was that I wasn't going to let her have the yogurt that she had paid for.
Once the incident was over and Marisa was able to sit down and eat the freshly made frozen yogurt, I was able to explain that there were germs in the change that fell in the yogurt.

"It was wrong for the cashier to refuse to let you make up a new one to replace the contaminated one," I explained.

As we sat and talked about the incident, Marisa realized that indeed, to eat a yogurt that had change land in it after passing through the hands of numerous people was definitely not a good idea.

"I'll never eat here again!" she said.

"There's nothing wrong with eating here. That cashier was wrong to refuse to give you a new yogurt. Next time, just make sure the food is moved away from your hand if you're collecting change," I said.

"That will be a good idea!" Marisa said.

Hopefully this will not happen again, but at least I know that Marisa will be able to help prevent it from happening next time. More importantly she now knows that someone else is capable of making a mistake. The cashier certainly was!