Several months ago Marisa came home from swimming and found her hair scrungee missing while emptying her backpack of all the items.
"Mom, I can't find my scrungee! Where is it!" she cried with noticeable panic in her voice.
I could sense the panic mounting like a volcano rumbling just below the surface, ready to erupt and overflow with it's hot and volatile lava. Sure as a volcano is to erupt, I knew that if Marisa didn't find her scrungee, she would most likely enter upon a full fledged meltdown. I tried reasoning to keep her feelings at bay.
"I'll help you to look for it," I said in a calm even voice, trying to make light of it. "Are you sure you packed it in your bag in the locker room?" I asked, not wanting to waste time looking for something that clearly might have been lost at the gym. You must be thinking, How crazy is it to waste time looking for a simple stretch hair band to hold a ponytail? Surely, one is the same as the next and easily replaceable? Yes, they are easy to replace if they are the basic hair bands, but nothing Marisa chooses to wear is basic. Her hair bands are not just special but are chosen to match certain outfits as well. Once lost, such items, though not costly, are hard to replace with exact duplicates.
So off we went room by room looking for a light pink scrungee with fuzzy fluff all around. We checked the bedroom furniture and floor. We checked the bathroom counter and floor, even lifting the rug. We turned the backpack inside out. We looked under the bed. We checked the wet towel and wet bathing suit. We checked the car, and the path from the car in to the house and down the hall to the bedroom. Then checked everything again. When all was done, I turned to Marisa and said as calmly as possible, "It must have been lost at the gym. Maybe after you packed it, it somehow fell out on the floor while pulling out your pants or shirt to put on. Maybe you should pack the hair band in an outer pocket away from the clothes from now on," I concluded, as I was ready to drop this subject and chalk it up to a new experience to learn from.
But Marisa wasn't having any part of it. She was relentless as she screamed and cried that it couldn't be lost at the gym. I knew it was ridiculous that she could be 22 years old and cry over the obvious conclusion that I had made, so realizing that there had to be more to this mystery, I asked what should have been the obvious first question, "Did you see it here in the house when you got home?"
"Yes," she replied as she continued crying.
"Well then, where did you see it?" I asked.
"It was in the kitchen. I took it out of my bag there," she said.
Now we were getting somewhere, I thought.
"Then lets go back to the kitchen and look there," I said. Why didn't we look there to begin with?
Once in the kitchen, I asked Marisa to show me where she was when she took the scrungee out of her bag.
"I was over here by my chair," she said.
I went to the chair and looked down on the floor. There under the table was the fuzzy, pink scrungee!
You can just imagine the relief and joy I felt ... yes, joy over finding the scrungee!
"Look! Here it is in the dark shadow under the table!" I called with relief and exhilaration.
She knew she had taken it out of her bag and that was why she was so frustrated at not finding it in the first place. Imagine how annoying it is to know something is there, but you can't find it. It has happened to all of us at one time or another.
"Next time, instead of panicking and crying, think back to what you were doing and where you were when you misplaced something. You will have a better chance of solving the problem on your own."
That was a good eight months ago. There hasn't been a single panicked moment since. There have been other similar situations, but thankfully, Marisa has learned to solve many of these by using her head to think things out.
While in the locker room after swimming last week, I was waiting for Marisa to dress. "Do you have your scrungee?" I felt compelled to ask.
"It's in the front pocket of my backpack," she answered.
And I thought, Another lesson learned from one small moment!
"Mom, I can't find my scrungee! Where is it!" she cried with noticeable panic in her voice.
I could sense the panic mounting like a volcano rumbling just below the surface, ready to erupt and overflow with it's hot and volatile lava. Sure as a volcano is to erupt, I knew that if Marisa didn't find her scrungee, she would most likely enter upon a full fledged meltdown. I tried reasoning to keep her feelings at bay.
"I'll help you to look for it," I said in a calm even voice, trying to make light of it. "Are you sure you packed it in your bag in the locker room?" I asked, not wanting to waste time looking for something that clearly might have been lost at the gym. You must be thinking, How crazy is it to waste time looking for a simple stretch hair band to hold a ponytail? Surely, one is the same as the next and easily replaceable? Yes, they are easy to replace if they are the basic hair bands, but nothing Marisa chooses to wear is basic. Her hair bands are not just special but are chosen to match certain outfits as well. Once lost, such items, though not costly, are hard to replace with exact duplicates.
So off we went room by room looking for a light pink scrungee with fuzzy fluff all around. We checked the bedroom furniture and floor. We checked the bathroom counter and floor, even lifting the rug. We turned the backpack inside out. We looked under the bed. We checked the wet towel and wet bathing suit. We checked the car, and the path from the car in to the house and down the hall to the bedroom. Then checked everything again. When all was done, I turned to Marisa and said as calmly as possible, "It must have been lost at the gym. Maybe after you packed it, it somehow fell out on the floor while pulling out your pants or shirt to put on. Maybe you should pack the hair band in an outer pocket away from the clothes from now on," I concluded, as I was ready to drop this subject and chalk it up to a new experience to learn from.
But Marisa wasn't having any part of it. She was relentless as she screamed and cried that it couldn't be lost at the gym. I knew it was ridiculous that she could be 22 years old and cry over the obvious conclusion that I had made, so realizing that there had to be more to this mystery, I asked what should have been the obvious first question, "Did you see it here in the house when you got home?"
"Yes," she replied as she continued crying.
"Well then, where did you see it?" I asked.
"It was in the kitchen. I took it out of my bag there," she said.
Now we were getting somewhere, I thought.
"Then lets go back to the kitchen and look there," I said. Why didn't we look there to begin with?
Once in the kitchen, I asked Marisa to show me where she was when she took the scrungee out of her bag.
"I was over here by my chair," she said.
I went to the chair and looked down on the floor. There under the table was the fuzzy, pink scrungee!
You can just imagine the relief and joy I felt ... yes, joy over finding the scrungee!
"Look! Here it is in the dark shadow under the table!" I called with relief and exhilaration.
She knew she had taken it out of her bag and that was why she was so frustrated at not finding it in the first place. Imagine how annoying it is to know something is there, but you can't find it. It has happened to all of us at one time or another.
"Next time, instead of panicking and crying, think back to what you were doing and where you were when you misplaced something. You will have a better chance of solving the problem on your own."
That was a good eight months ago. There hasn't been a single panicked moment since. There have been other similar situations, but thankfully, Marisa has learned to solve many of these by using her head to think things out.
While in the locker room after swimming last week, I was waiting for Marisa to dress. "Do you have your scrungee?" I felt compelled to ask.
"It's in the front pocket of my backpack," she answered.
And I thought, Another lesson learned from one small moment!
