The Right Incentive Makes All the Difference

"I want my own digital camera!" Marisa said.

"Well then ... you can earn it for points, or save up for it with your weekly allowance," I replied.

Over the next few months Marisa would not spend a penny of her weekly allowance, because she planned to save for her digital camera.

"Why do you need your own, when you could borrow mine?" my husband asked her.

Marisa took pride in the fact that she could save up and wait many months, before she would be able to purchase her very own digital camera. Each week, she would check her balance after she received her allowance.

From the time she was 4 years old, when I first started her on a behavior goal chart, Marisa knew that she could earn points toward a reward of her choice. In the beginning she earned points for small items.  Marisa would earn just 10 points toward a small reward of her choosing. Then, over time she learned to delay her gratification for more valuable things such as a new outfit or a video game. She would count up her points to see how close she was to the 350 points required to receive her special reward ... something she herself had selected. Earning 350 points could take up to a month to earn. For something more costly, the number of points required could be higher. Earning points by following rules, and learning to save a weekly allowance for something special, are both incentives that help teach the importance of planning and saving for the future.

Children are able to learn, from a very young age, that following rules and working on goals such as brushing teeth, wearing a seat belt in the car, sharing toys and learning to say thank you when appropriate, can be enjoyable learning experiences when there are positive reinforcements in place such as a special reward the child can work toward. Older children can work on more sophisticated goals such as learning to answer the phone and take messages, cleaning their room or helping to prepare a meal.Whether it is something they want or something such as a special trip to the mall or a movie, it helps prepare them for being responsible adults.

When Marisa was just beginning to understand the value of earning points toward special rewards, I was criticized by another mother who felt that I was spoiling my young child by rewarding her with gifts.The fact is, those gifts were things Marisa really, really wanted, and because she knew she would be able to earn them, she was motivated to work very hard to earn the points that could then be traded in for her special reward ... a reward earned for a job well done.

The concept of earning is an important one. It gives one a sense of pride to know that they can do a job well if they try. In the real world, we earn money for jobs we are hired to do. We work to pay the bills to support ourselves, and by earning more money, we may even be able to reward ourselves with special things like tickets to a show, new clothing or perhaps save up for a special vacation or even a new home.

Having goals and working to achieve them by earning points or an allowance, helps prepare our children to be independent and responsible. They learn to plan and save and ultimately are rewarded with a sense of accomplishment. Some day they may be lucky enough to earn a salary for a real job and take pride in enjoying the very special reward of being independent and responsible adults.