Are You Looking for A Small Moment to Learn From? Don't Look Too Far ... They're All Around You!

"Good-bye! Have fun! I'll see you later!"

Those were the exact and cheerful words of my daughter, Marisa, as I was walking out the door to pick up some items at the store. Now ...  you may be wondering why she wasn't going with me on this particular shopping excursion. Well, the fact is she has wised up and realized that she could get more done by writing items she needs on my shopping list while she stays home to do her week-end workout. Granted, it would be nice to have her come along and help at the supermarket, but on this particular day she has chosen to stay behind.

So now you must be wondering what exactly is my point here! Well, when I heard the cheerful way Marisa said goodbye, it made me stop to wonder. How did she become so animated and upbeat? I mean, rather than simply saying good-bye, she chose to liven it up by suggesting I have fun. It made me feel really, really good to hear the enthusiasm in her voice.

Then I thought about where that was coming from. I thought about all the time we spend together, and how an enormous amount of time is spent just commenting on things around us. For example, when Marisa was very little, I would spend 10 or 15 minutes waiting outside for her school bus. I would fill the minutes with observations around us.

"Look at the beautiful sky with the puffy clouds! See how the wind is making them move so fast?"

After the rain, I would notice lots of worms on the pavement and remark,

"The worms were washed up from the soil by the rain. Let's help them find their way back to the soil where they will be able to stay alive and keep the grass healthy!" We would then search for twigs together, to help place the worms safely on the grass.

"See the bird with the big belly? She's gathering twigs for a nest!" We would watch the birds frantic search for just the right twigs to put together a nest.

Sometimes while driving home in the evening I would comment on the beautiful peachy, pink and blue sky at sunset and remark about how the sun helps create such beauty as it sets. Other times, late at night, while driving home there might be a spectacular moon to observe, and I might draw Marisa's attention to it.

Walking down a hallway in a busy building, Marisa might brush against a passerby and need to be reminded about being more careful to stay within her own space and to learn to say excuse me when needing to pass someone in her way.

We are all learning every single day, whether we have a disability or not. As we get older we are supposed to become wiser. We learn from our life experiences. So of course our special needs children will become older and wiser too, but we can help them by pointing out the little moments to learn from. There's something to be learned every day and every moment in a day, if we open our eyes and let these moments become moments to learn from.

Our children grow into adulthood. Some will be volunteers at jobs, some will volunteer in day hab programs, and some may have paying jobs. All these experiences will have moments to learn from. Volunteering can make one feel they are doing something useful and helpful for the community. It may also pave the way for a paying job.This can build self esteem and in itself, is a learning experience. Likewise, having a paying job means one needs to be very responsible. There is a commitment to being on time, doing the job right, and staying on task. Over time, one may become so proficient on a job that, perhaps they may then be able to advance to a new level. Why? Because, they have learned they're job well and have been able to prove them self capable. Now that would be a major accomplishment not to mention a boost for ones confidence and self esteem!

So no matter how little your child is able to speak and no matter how little you think they are able to understand ... remember ... none of us are in the position of deciding how far our special needs kids will be able to go. Our job is to assume they understand and share our words and thoughts with them from the time they are very little. Our job is to build their confidence and self-esteem so they are able to dream about and possibly achieve their dreams. And if they don't achieve their dreams, it won't be because we didn't help them try. Just keep dreaming and reaching for the sky. There's no time limit, and there's no expiration on hope! Grab the moments as they go by, and make each one count as an experience to learn from. But remember, if your child is happy with what they are doing, then, in one very important respect, they have already succeeded!