Learning to Advocate for Oneself

"I don't want to bowl anymore. It's boring" Marisa said.

"But why not? What happened?" I asked, confused by the sudden change in my daughter's interest. She had been bowling in the same group for six years and was always happy till now.

"I have no one to talk to," Marisa replied. "I want to be with my friends."

"Then tell the counselor you want to be on a lane with people who will talk to you. If you don't let your counselor know how you feel, she can only guess," I said.

Children with autism tend to think that others are able to read their minds, and know exactly what they are thinking and feeling. This, of course, is not possible. One has to be able to express their thoughts in words in order to make their feelings known.

When we arrived at bowling, later that afternoon, I told Marisa to go inside and ask her counselor to switch her to another group so that she could be with friends who would talk to her.

"Okay!" she answered, sounding a bit more optimistic.

After I parked the car and entered the bowling alley, I noticed Marisa was bowling with a different group of people. She appeared much happier as she danced to the background music and said something to one of the other bowlers.

Later, when we left the bowling alley, I asked Marisa,

"How did it go today?"

"Oh, it was fine!" she announced.

"That's because you let the counselors know how you felt. Aren't you glad you did?"

"Yeah!"

"Remember, other people won't know how you feel unless you tell them. When you're able to express yourself, things will always turn out better, and you'll be a happier person too."

It's called communicating. Even neuro-typicals need to learn how to do it.