It was just a few days before my parents wedding anniversary, and I couldn't figure out how many years they were celebrating.
"It's sixty something," I said to my husband, Dan "but I can't remember!" A few years ago we made the 60th wedding anniversary party for them. What year was that?" I asked.
"I don't remember," he answered. It was so annoying not being able to figure it out. Then I had an idea.
"Marisa will know! I'll ask her," I said, as I ran down the steps into the kitchen. There I found her at the computer Instant Messaging some of her friends. I still am amazed at her ability to carry on brief on-line conversations with three friends at once, while searching the Internet for the latest fashion trends. After all, one of Marisa's greatest difficulties is holding a conversation. Yet she is able to do so at the computer and with three people at once. Granted, the responses are brief but nevertheless, they are responses and appropriate at that. It's nice to know she is able to engage in social interactions at the computer and fulfill a need to stay connected with her friends, while exploring the best on-line deals in fashion. Great multi-tasking! I thought.
So there I was about to interrupt her as she continued to click away at the computer keys in rhythm to the i Tunes music she favored.
"Marisa," I started to ask, "what year did we make grandma and grandpa's 60th anniversary party?"
"2003!" she answered without a moments hesitation and without even pausing as she continued to click, click, click away at the computer keys.
"Oh ... thanks!" I answered, somewhat surprised and delighted by the lack of thought that even went into her answer. I thought of what age she was in 2003. She had to be 13 at the time. Then I decided to double check, as I headed for my photo albums numbering some 24 on a shelf in my hall closet. I found the one with pictures from 2003. Sure enough there were the photos of the 60th wedding anniversary party!
"Hey Marisa! You're amazing! You were absolutely correct about the year of that party. How did you know that?" There was no answer. Marisa was deep in thought and conversation at the computer with one of her friends.
"So now how many years are grandma and grandpa married if they celebrated 60 years in 2003?" I asked her.
"67!" she called out to me.
"You got it right! You're amazing! I couldn't have remembered the year of the party. It would have taken me all night to find the correct album with the anniversary party pictures if you hadn't told me the year," I said.
I ran upstairs to share what had happened with Dan.
"Isn't it amazing how she could know that so fast!"
As we sat there thinking about all the things we couldn't remember without Marisa to help us, we thought about Marisa's special abilities; not just for dates but for recalling names, events and even directions for playing games and multi-tasking at the computer. I realized then that these are skills that could be valuable. Could the ability to recall information and remember events be useful in the job market? What about her ability to search the Internet for information. Perhaps these are all marketable skills! So the search should be on for all the jobs out there that can utilize such skills.
The point is that our special needs kids have many abilities that we tend to underestimate, because we allow their disability to overshadow everything else. All of us neuro-typicals have different strengths and weaknesses, but we tend to do the things we are good at and go into professions that favor our strengths. That's what we need to focus on with our special needs children. List the strengths they have, and explore the jobs that could utilize those strengths. Then help them find their place among the rest of us. It may be easier said than done, but if we don't try, then the battle is already lost before it even has begun.
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