Revisiting A Lesson from the Past

Sixteen years ago, when Marisa was four years old, there was a news story about a boy with autism who was missing in a Florida swamp area for three days. Parents and officials feared the worst, but when the boy was found, he appeared to be in good health except for some minor bruises, fatigue and expected hunger. All this could have been avoided if the boy had been taught to respond to his name, either by calling out, or if not by speaking, by some other means, perhaps tapping on something in the area. Unfortunately, he did not know that responding to the repeated calls to him, would have enabled those looking for him to pinpoint his location. He simply expected his parents to know where he was without having to make a single sound.

That is when I realized how important it was for Marisa to learn to respond to her name. We started to practice this skill repeatedly, and by responding appropriately, Marisa would earn points on her goal chart.

"Marisa where are you?" I would call, and she was expected to respond with,

"Here I am, in the ...." whatever the place might be. We practiced this outside the house too, and Marisa enjoyed this little game. Not only was this good practice for her, but it was an easy way to earn the points toward whatever special reward she was working toward, whether it was a new CD, a movie or a new outfit she had selected.

This past week-end Marisa and I stopped off at Borders book store after her soccer practice. Marisa wanted to purchase a CD she was saving for. I desperately needed the bathroom.

"I'm going to the bathroom. I'll find you after," I said.

"Okay!" she replied.

Then we went our separate ways, having never planned on a special place in the store to meet. As I left the bathroom, I thought how far we had come. We always had stayed together in a public place, never separating from view of each other. I walked to the music section of the store, but Marisa wasn't there. Then I walked toward the children's section, but Marisa wasn't there either. I started to walk quickly glancing down every aisle, but no Marisa. It was quiet in the store. I didn't want to call out to her and disturb other shoppers as I continued to look. I knew Marisa didn't have her cell phone on her because she had just come from soccer practice. My only consolation was that I knew Marisa would never leave the store without me. Then I heard a familiar and sweet, but startled voice call out from a distance,

"Mom, where are you?"

I thought of the goal from so many years ago, as I smiled and sighed with relief. I thought ... she remembers. How wonderful that felt!

"Here I am Marisa!" Here I am!"

Again she called, "Where are you mom?"

"I'm here! I'm here!" I kept repeating so she could follow the sound of my voice until we were finally together again. Then she appeared around the corner of a bookshelf looking somewhat scared.

"Oh, Marisa, you don't have to be scared. You know I would never leave the store without you. But think how smart you are! You played our where are you game in reverse," I said.

"Yeah!" she called out sounding much relieved.

"You couldn't find me, and I couldn't find you, but you used what you learned from the past and your quick thinking to get us back together the fastest way you could.

"Yeah!" she answered as we walked to the cashier together.

Being lost in the store could have turned into a long drawn out scary situation, but instead it became an incident quickly resolved, and the best part of it was that Marisa was the one to have chosen the solution.