How Do Our Children Learn From the Consequences of the Things They Do?

Joining social networking groups ...  planning parties ...

These things always seem like such fun ideas to Marisa. She has signed up for many social networking groups, with the thought in mind that she would be making new friends. Somehow, she doesn't seem to realize that this could be just as dangerous as approaching a stranger on the street.

"Why did you do this after all the discussions we've had?" I would ask.

She would tell me that one of her friends suggested a certain group to join, or that she found it available on Facebook.

"That doesn't matter, and doesn't make it okay for you," I would say. "Let's take a look at some of the people who have looked at your profile and are interested in meeting you."

We then would browse the long list of young and some times older men who seemed to want to meet Marisa. "Are you really interested in meeting this person ... or this one ... or that one?" I would say, as we'd peruse the long list of interested possible new friends.

"NO, NO!" she'd yell back as she glanced at the numerous individuals ranging in age from 15 to 40 and beyond.

Well, the Internet is a dangerous place for our kids, requiring us to be forever watchful, always needing to explain the reasons why certain things are just not a good idea.

"I don't talk to strangers!" Marisa would say, but she may very well think that typing on the computer doesn't qualify as talking to strangers. So, again we have to cover all the bases and explain that this is just as dangerous, if not worse, because inviting strangers to look over your profile could lead to major problems.

The consequences were clear enough once Marisa viewed the interested list of young and older men.

Okay, so it doesn't end there. Last week, I received a Facebook message from one of Marisa's friends. She was letting me know that she would attend Marisa's Halloween Party on October 31st at 5 PM.

What? What party? I was thinking. I quickly logged in to Marisa's Facebook page and there to my disbelief, though actually I wasn't so surprised, was an event posted for a Halloween Party from 5-9 PM on October 31st at my home. How nice of Marisa to also post on the event that no egg throwing would be allowed. As I glanced over the invitation list, I saw that there were some 40 friends invited. WOW! This was wishful planning on Marisa's part. Every year we have a birthday party at our home, but I limit it to 25. Major planning goes in to the party. We shop for paper tableware, plan activities, rearrange a room for seating and order food.

"Marisa, how were you planning to have this party without telling me?" I asked.

"Oh ... I don't know."

"And what were you going to serve at the party?"

"Pizza for 40!" she replied as if it was going to be the event of the year!

"Okay, so how were you planning to pay for all the pizza?"

"Hmm!"

Well it really did get her thinking!

"Yes, I know you always want to have a Halloween Party, but one big birthday party in the house each year is more than enough responsibility." I explained. "I know you're disappointed, and I guess you figured that since I wouldn't agree to the party, you just would skip the asking part, and go straight to the inviting. What do you think would happen if all your friends showed up and there was no plan in place? No party tables or tableware for eating, no pizza, and no planned activity. Then what?"

Marisa thought and then said, "I'm sorry!"

I looked at her sympathetically and remarked, "I guess you were trying to make this dream come true, but in reality, the dream would have turned into a nightmare!"

Marisa glanced off seeming deep in thought as she replied "yeah" and then laughed at the consequence of the nightmare that didn't happen.