Choosing Appropriate Clothing to Match the Occasion

Sunday morning I woke up at 8 A.M. expecting a gloomy rainy day as the forecast had predicted. I parted the bedroom curtain and was pleasantly surprised to see a bright sunny morning. I slowly made my way to the kitchen for my morning coffee. Within seconds, Marisa appeared in a whirlwind of enthusiasm. As she burst into the room she announced,

"I'm going for a walk!"

I looked up and was startled by what was before me. Marisa, wearing a fanny pack, key in hand, was dressed in denim cut-off short shorts with her favorite black and pink tile belt, chain links dangling from the side. Paired with this was her disco ready skin tight black and blue sequin tank top with a streaming silk black bow down the back. Her white bra straps were clearly visible as an eyesore.

"Not like that!" I yelled back to her. "Go back and put on a more appropriate top. Then later you can change back into your sequins, but pair it with a dark colored bra."

Marisa, who is usually amazing at putting together her daily outfits and work-out shorts and tops that she wears at home to go on the treadmill, didn't seem to have a clue as to why her choice of clothing for a brisk walk was so inappropriate.

"You look like you're looking for a roll in the hay with some guy!" I informed her. "Is that what you want?"

"NO!" she answered.

She quickly rushed back to her room and reappeared in a two-toned floral tank top that was fitting to the occasion. Then off she went for her walk.

So what would have happened if Marisa went out the door to take a walk wearing disco-ready clothes? Probably nothing though she may have gotten a few stares. On second thought, she may have realized, after her walk, that sequins would have made her hot and sweaty. Then she wouldn't have been able to wear the top for the rest of the day. Alright, so maybe I should have let her learn from experience, but nevertheless, it's a good idea to know what is and is not appropriate for various occasions.

I can remember numerous times when I spotted someone in some outlandish outfit that made me and everyone else around do a double take. There was the woman in the supermarket wearing cowgirl clothes from the hat down to the fringed skirt and boots; another in her fifties wearing little girl hair clips with mini bows and lace that would have been fine on a two year old; and the young woman wearing skin tight wet-look pants with a waist length denim jacket while shopping for produce in the supermarket. I will never forget the looks that she got from people who just couldn't take their eyes off her. It was actually very humorous to witness.

So what should the goal be when it comes to appropriate attire for every occasion? We should look presentable and pleasant without drawing excessive attention to ourselves. There are clothes that are appropriate in the workplace just as there are clothes for parties, gardening, shopping in the supermarket, going to the beach and working out. Usually Marisa gets it right, but for those times when her judgement is just a bit off, some guidance can't hurt. Just as children and adults on the autism spectrum want to fit in by learning appropriate behaviors, they need to also learn what is appropriate attire to match the numerous occasions they will encounter. I'm not saying that we have to appear boring as if in uniform. We can learn to blend in with what is appropriate and pleasing, but still be creative and individual just as various flowers blend in a way that is pleasing to the eye. They go together as a group but are all unique in their own way.

I can't wait to see what Marisa selects for her next brisk walk outdoors. The goal is to be pleasantly unique. I am confident she will get it right next time!